I saw Phish again, twice, this past weekend. Saturday’s show was good, but I was way up high on the enormous lawn at Alpine where most people weren’t really into it. I was all excited for the shows based on the enormous fun I had back in March at Hampton, but a lot of that fun was due to the entire crowd at the coliseum being 100% engaged with the music. You can’t help but get wrapped up in the excitement in an environment like that. So I was a little let down seeing a show from so far away, with the sound sort of muffled, surrounded by people who weren’t all that enthusiastic. The next night was a different story though. I sat in the pavilion with some friends for Sunday’s show, much closer, with much better views of the band and the lights, along with better sound and a better crowd. The music was also better. They opened the second set with a cover of Crosseyed and Painless by The Talking Heads, and they absolutely ripped it. The blissful feelings coursing through my body during that song were not unlike a devotee having an ecstatic religious experience.
In thinking more about this, it’s obvious to me why people tour with the band. They’re chasing a feeling, a sensation that may not come during every show, but that is certain to appear once every 3-4 shows at least. I’ve always had a quiet respect for these apparently scummy hippie types, but I could never put my finger on why exactly. And let me be clear and state that I’m not referring to those that have little to no respect for others, because there are many of them. But those that are out there chasing that feeling, to me they’re like humble pilgrims searching for divine union through music, the same exact thing in fact as yoga through sound. In India music is considered a sacred thing, and it can lead to yoga, which is defined as union with the sacred. In the east they have chanting and kirtan, whereas here we have rock and roll, but the goals and the path are the same. I wish more people realized this. We would have much more respect for the arts and for living in close contact with God’s love. But in this society we’re too materialistic for that.
Or is it really materialism that’s at the heart of our ills? Lately I’ve been challenging this idea. I think that maybe what’s really going on is deep-seeded fear stemming from lack of faith, in each other and in the divine. And the divine happens to be in each and everyone one of us in fact. Having material things makes people feel safe, safe from not ever having to rely on another human being for anything.
Let me try to show what I’m getting at by talking about my own thinking. After Sunday’s Phish show, hanging out in the lot and watching fireworks, it occurred to me that this is what life is all about, the feelings of love that I can only get through experiences like this. I had the same revelation in Hampton actually. Over the next couple of days I thought about how I want to chase those feelings, and that material things don’t mean anything to me compared to this search (though I didn’t and still don’t have a concrete path but some I’d consider are: following Phish, making a pilgrimage to perhaps India, becoming a surf or ski bum, or going somewhere and meditating and studying like crazy). Then it occurred to me: I have no material things! Well I have some stuff: nice furniture, nice clothes, huge tv, computer, car, ipod. But I don’t attach myself to any of those things, and I wouldn’t be devastated to lose any one of them (except maybe for the car—to me a car symbolizes freedom, which I value). Why, then, am I living this life in a city I’ve grown tired of, working a job that I am not invested in? The only answer I can come up with is that it provides security.
I keep thinking that if I’m just able to save X amount of money I’ll have enough to go on some sort of adventure and have enough to sustain me for a little bit. But would I really do it? After all, devoting oneself to God does not come with a 401(k) or health insurance. Caroline Myss says several times in Anatomy of the Spirit that she’s never met anyone who has regretted giving their life up to God. I do want to do this, but I’m not bold enough to do it without making sure that I have a contingency fund of money to use in case things don’t work out. My problem is the same lack of faith that characterizes society as a whole. I want to find God and give myself up to the search, but if I break my arm, how do I pay for the medical bills?
At any rate, I really have no options right now. I have over 2 more years left on my car loan and no money saved except for my 401(k). I don’t plan to abandon this path of yoga that I’m on, so hopefully the next two years finds me deepening my practice, getting in good financial shape, and solidifying what the next step in my journey will be. Life is too rich and fulfilling to be spent confined to a cubicle. This is not what I’ve been put on earth to do.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Here are the things I've been thinking about and doing lately
Boring title, I know...
Synchronicities are a beautiful thing. It’s like God winking at you. Or, according to a fascinating book I’m reading called “Anatomy of the Spirit”, numerous synchronicities are actually divine communications letting you know that you’re on the right path. I had a nice one happen this morning. While I was getting ready to go to work I was thinking about writing in this blog about simplified living and all the things I’ve been doing to strip away all the bullshit in my life and get down to what really matters. I’m cooking almost everything I eat. I’m going to the library instead of the bookstore. I’m even doing my own laundry for the first time in about 6 years. At first these were efforts aimed at saving money so that I could get out of credit card debt, but they have become lifestyle choices, and will continue on probably forever.
The synchronicity occurred when I went to listen to my favorite podcast (actually, the only one I listen to), Speaking of Faith, on my way to work. In this episode, a college professor was talking about the economic crisis. To demonstrate a point to his students he showed the part from the movie “The Matrix” where Morpheus leads Neo through a training program to show him that everyone within the matrix is an enemy. The point the professor was trying to make is that we are so incredibly plugged in in society, to our computers, cell phones, ipods, etc. When he asked his students to unplug for 24 hours, one student who listened to music non-stop reported that he heard birds on campus for the first time.
The next point he made was that the plugged-in life is not worth living. One of his students then asked “Does that mean that the un-plugged life is worth dying for?” This, the professor said, gave him goose bumps. What this means to him is that we should exercise sacrificial living, something that I’ve been working towards, in a way. I’m really interested in clearing away the clutter and getting down to my true nature.
The next big thing for me in this regard is to revolutionize my diet. I’m going to attempt to eat an all or mostly all raw meat diet. This is one area where I disagree with the yoga teachings. Ahimsa, the rule of non-violence, is taken to mean that one must eat a vegan diet. I don’t agree with this for several reasons which I could get into at some other time. But the point here is again to strip down, to eat only what is necessary. I’ve done my homework, and there is lots of evidence both scientific and anecdotal to show that carbohydrates are not necessary in the diet, that we are evolved to eat red meat from grass-fed sources, and that raw is the best state in which to eat it. If this is the case, then I only want to give my body what it needs and nothing more. I’ve found a reputable source to purchase grass-fed beef via the internet, and a very intelligent information source to refer to and learn more about all this. I’m pretty certain that this will be good for my health. The only concern I have is the social aspect of it. Food is so entwined in our culture that most people can’t see things from another perspective. I don’t really care if people think I’m weird. However there are people in my life that I love very much, and I don’t want to embarrass or offend anyone. So this will be a challenge for sure.
But I’m not going to even try to convince, say, my mother that this is the right thing. For some reason I told her about this the other day, and she reacted as I knew she would, by flipping out. There are a scarce few in my life, sadly, that would have a purely sane reaction to this. The fact is, we are lied to about countless things in society today. Take for example the beauty industry. How many billions of dollars are made selling clothes, cosmetics, so-called diet foods, books, magazines, workout equipment, dvds, etc., perpetuating that myth of a woman to have to look a certain way? And yet we all buy it hook, line and sinker. Bill Maher said it best when he was talking about the health care industry. They’re not interested in making you well, they’re only interested in keeping you sick so you’ll buy more medicine. “And the food industry is doing their part to help,” he added. It’s so sad but so true.
With all these lies out there, it’s not hard for me to believe something as crazy as living on a raw meat diet is great for your health. I already know that fat is not bad for you and doesn’t make you fat. I thought everyone was on to this already but my friend was telling me other day that her friends don’t eat avocados because of the fat content. When will people learn? Rather, when will people learn to start questioning things? It’s a scary plugged-in society we live in where no one questions what they learn, know, think or hear. As we race toward 2012, I wonder if we’re in a position to get to the next level in our evolution as a species.
We heard a lecture on this topic with BJ Sadtler last Tuesday. It was fascinating, and I was hanging on her every word. I had previously read Daniel Pincheck’s book on the topic, and was subsequently very paranoid and afraid. I decided to stop thinking about all the potential bad things and instead see them as a metaphor for great and necessary changes. After all, Shiva the Destroyer does not necessarily bring destruction, but transformation. BJ’s approach to the topic was to lay out the facts and let us do the math. I, along with others in the class, would have liked more information on what exactly might be taking place, but she either didn’t want to pretend to predict the future or didn’t want to scare us, or both. I still believe that some scary things may be happening but I’m trying to view it all through the lens of my heart and not my ego or intellect.
The heart was in fact the major focus of my work this past weekend with Astrid Brinck. Astrid is a healer who lives in Chile and travels all around the world working with people. She is a remarkable person and she taught me a lot. In fact she still has much to teach me and I am lucky enough to get to work with her more this week! She led a heart meditation on Friday night and all day Saturday we participated in her workshop entitled Path of the Sacred Feminine. She lectured for a little about the suppression of the feminine throughout history, most of which I had heard before but some of which was new to me, and it was cool to hear it from her perspective. Then we did a bunch of activities that included touching, talking, dancing, and extended eye contact. For me it was all about surrender. I had to give in fully to it, because if I fought it in any way it would have been a miserable experience for me. Some of the things we did were in fact a little uncomfortable but that was part of the point in order to get us to express love and get more in touch with our hearts. It was really a great experience. She will be conducting a sweat lodge ceremony on Thursday and I was lucky enough to get a spot in it. I’m expecting this one to be less physically grueling than Rubee’s was.
Synchronicities are a beautiful thing. It’s like God winking at you. Or, according to a fascinating book I’m reading called “Anatomy of the Spirit”, numerous synchronicities are actually divine communications letting you know that you’re on the right path. I had a nice one happen this morning. While I was getting ready to go to work I was thinking about writing in this blog about simplified living and all the things I’ve been doing to strip away all the bullshit in my life and get down to what really matters. I’m cooking almost everything I eat. I’m going to the library instead of the bookstore. I’m even doing my own laundry for the first time in about 6 years. At first these were efforts aimed at saving money so that I could get out of credit card debt, but they have become lifestyle choices, and will continue on probably forever.
The synchronicity occurred when I went to listen to my favorite podcast (actually, the only one I listen to), Speaking of Faith, on my way to work. In this episode, a college professor was talking about the economic crisis. To demonstrate a point to his students he showed the part from the movie “The Matrix” where Morpheus leads Neo through a training program to show him that everyone within the matrix is an enemy. The point the professor was trying to make is that we are so incredibly plugged in in society, to our computers, cell phones, ipods, etc. When he asked his students to unplug for 24 hours, one student who listened to music non-stop reported that he heard birds on campus for the first time.
The next point he made was that the plugged-in life is not worth living. One of his students then asked “Does that mean that the un-plugged life is worth dying for?” This, the professor said, gave him goose bumps. What this means to him is that we should exercise sacrificial living, something that I’ve been working towards, in a way. I’m really interested in clearing away the clutter and getting down to my true nature.
The next big thing for me in this regard is to revolutionize my diet. I’m going to attempt to eat an all or mostly all raw meat diet. This is one area where I disagree with the yoga teachings. Ahimsa, the rule of non-violence, is taken to mean that one must eat a vegan diet. I don’t agree with this for several reasons which I could get into at some other time. But the point here is again to strip down, to eat only what is necessary. I’ve done my homework, and there is lots of evidence both scientific and anecdotal to show that carbohydrates are not necessary in the diet, that we are evolved to eat red meat from grass-fed sources, and that raw is the best state in which to eat it. If this is the case, then I only want to give my body what it needs and nothing more. I’ve found a reputable source to purchase grass-fed beef via the internet, and a very intelligent information source to refer to and learn more about all this. I’m pretty certain that this will be good for my health. The only concern I have is the social aspect of it. Food is so entwined in our culture that most people can’t see things from another perspective. I don’t really care if people think I’m weird. However there are people in my life that I love very much, and I don’t want to embarrass or offend anyone. So this will be a challenge for sure.
But I’m not going to even try to convince, say, my mother that this is the right thing. For some reason I told her about this the other day, and she reacted as I knew she would, by flipping out. There are a scarce few in my life, sadly, that would have a purely sane reaction to this. The fact is, we are lied to about countless things in society today. Take for example the beauty industry. How many billions of dollars are made selling clothes, cosmetics, so-called diet foods, books, magazines, workout equipment, dvds, etc., perpetuating that myth of a woman to have to look a certain way? And yet we all buy it hook, line and sinker. Bill Maher said it best when he was talking about the health care industry. They’re not interested in making you well, they’re only interested in keeping you sick so you’ll buy more medicine. “And the food industry is doing their part to help,” he added. It’s so sad but so true.
With all these lies out there, it’s not hard for me to believe something as crazy as living on a raw meat diet is great for your health. I already know that fat is not bad for you and doesn’t make you fat. I thought everyone was on to this already but my friend was telling me other day that her friends don’t eat avocados because of the fat content. When will people learn? Rather, when will people learn to start questioning things? It’s a scary plugged-in society we live in where no one questions what they learn, know, think or hear. As we race toward 2012, I wonder if we’re in a position to get to the next level in our evolution as a species.
We heard a lecture on this topic with BJ Sadtler last Tuesday. It was fascinating, and I was hanging on her every word. I had previously read Daniel Pincheck’s book on the topic, and was subsequently very paranoid and afraid. I decided to stop thinking about all the potential bad things and instead see them as a metaphor for great and necessary changes. After all, Shiva the Destroyer does not necessarily bring destruction, but transformation. BJ’s approach to the topic was to lay out the facts and let us do the math. I, along with others in the class, would have liked more information on what exactly might be taking place, but she either didn’t want to pretend to predict the future or didn’t want to scare us, or both. I still believe that some scary things may be happening but I’m trying to view it all through the lens of my heart and not my ego or intellect.
The heart was in fact the major focus of my work this past weekend with Astrid Brinck. Astrid is a healer who lives in Chile and travels all around the world working with people. She is a remarkable person and she taught me a lot. In fact she still has much to teach me and I am lucky enough to get to work with her more this week! She led a heart meditation on Friday night and all day Saturday we participated in her workshop entitled Path of the Sacred Feminine. She lectured for a little about the suppression of the feminine throughout history, most of which I had heard before but some of which was new to me, and it was cool to hear it from her perspective. Then we did a bunch of activities that included touching, talking, dancing, and extended eye contact. For me it was all about surrender. I had to give in fully to it, because if I fought it in any way it would have been a miserable experience for me. Some of the things we did were in fact a little uncomfortable but that was part of the point in order to get us to express love and get more in touch with our hearts. It was really a great experience. She will be conducting a sweat lodge ceremony on Thursday and I was lucky enough to get a spot in it. I’m expecting this one to be less physically grueling than Rubee’s was.
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