Do The Evolution

I’m not sleeping well lately. Ever since my final plans for Burning Man have started to come together it’s a struggle to get through the night. This has been over a year in the making, since I met my Burning Man friends a few weeks before the 2008 event was to take place. Looked at from another perspective, it’s five or more years in the making, from the time I first heard of it and knew, maybe not consciously, that I would end up going one day. Looked at from yet another perspective, it’s almost 30 years in the making. My life has been leading up to this in many different ways.

During Rubee’s pre-yoga discussion yesterday one of the other participants mentioned that he’ll be going to Burning Man. Afterwards I spoke with him and he talked about how he likes to pick a theme or intention for himself each year, something to align his experiences toward. I liked that idea a lot. Working with intention is something I’ve been thinking a lot about, and it’s certainly something that helps enhance a yoga practice. It didn’t take long for me to come up with my intention, because it happens to coincide with this year’s official theme: Evolution.

This ridiculous corporate song and dance cannot continue for much longer. I have to find another path, a way to serve. Someone mentioned something at Rubee’s class about being unhappily employed, and Rubee polled the class to find out who else is in that situation. I of course raised my hand along with a few others, and Rubee of course had to interject his beliefs about happiness being metaphysically negative, and so on (don’t get me wrong here, I love the guy, just poking fun). That got me thinking. It’s not that I want a job or career where I’m happy and fulfilled 100% of the time. I’m pretty sure that’s an impossible dream. What I really want is a job or career that I find to be relevant. My job right now holds no relevance toward the state of humanity. Not that another insurance job, which I have been seeking out, would, but at least I could be more challenged and excited during the day.

But what it feels like my life is opening up to is a way to serve humanity. I just checked out another fascinating book from the library, one that picks up logically where Anatomy of the Spirit ends. It’s called Your Hands Can Heal You, and one of its authors, Master Steven Co, will be in Chicago next month. I found out about him and the book from the most recent issue of The Monthly Aspectarian, a free local publication that I haven’t read in years. On a whim (or was it something more?) I picked up a copy from the yoga studio the other day.

There’s a life force inside of each and every one of us that is capable of astounding things. I don’t believe that I have it any more than anyone else has it, but what makes me different is that I believe in it and its powers. And I want to learn about how it works and what it can do. Yoga is a technology that uses it for personal development and growth toward enlightenment. But in that sense yoga is sort of limited. Being a yoga teacher and guiding people along this path is interesting and fulfilling to me but I want to explore other areas. Do I need to find a guru, or a master of some kind to study with? What is my life evolving toward? This is intention for my first Burning Man.

Letting Go

I haven’t written in a while and wanted to just poke in and say a few things. This morning I started the day off with sunrise yoga on the beach. Michael was the teacher, and the place where it was held is so serene and beautiful. The sun hung out over the water and the whole thing made me think of Burning Man (which I leave for in a week and a half!). While I didn’t get to see the sun come up over the horizon, I can tell it’s true what they say about sunrises being much better than sunsets.

I’ve been thinking more and more about surrender and letting go. My friend Noah had a great quote, non-attributed, on his facebook page the other day. It said “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” So wise. I’ve come to know this as I’ve come to know many things, not just intellectually but with my whole body; my bones, my blood, my flesh, my cells. They say that yoga changes you on a cellular level and I believe it.

Forgiveness is a form of letting go, something people are not very good at in our society these days. And it’s also something I need to work at, even though I’ve made huge strides in this area. Yesterday I was able to let go of my dissatisfaction with my job and just do the job that I’m being paid for. And it ended up being a very beneficial, almost meditative experience. Today I’m having a harder time with it but that’s mostly due to a change in some plans that is stealing my attention.

Two other brief things: yesterday I was approached by Justin, the owner of Windy City Crossfit, about teaching some yoga there. I’m both excited and nervous about the opportunity. People at the gym will really take to it I’m sure, so I need to make sure I’m prepared and don’t let anyone down. Second, I’m reading a fascinating book that found me the other day when I took a moment to stop in a used book store on my way from Eli’s wedding festivities to dinner for my grandmother’s birthday. It’s called Looking Into The Invisible by Omraam Mikhael Aivanov.