Problem of Language

As a man in a yoga teacher training program with one other man, 12 women (possibly 11, it seems one has dropped out), and a woman instructor, I’m starting to feel the need to expose myself to more male yoga teachers, to get a feel for their style and for the masculine side of yoga. So this past Sunday I attended a class taught by Michael McColly. Michael has a religious studies background and teaches creative writing, in addition to being a writer himself, and an activist. The class was great, and afterwards I spoke with him briefly and he mentioned something about a problem of language when it comes to communicating ancient beliefs and yogic philosophies to our uninitiated peers.

Funny then how the same issue came up later that evening at dinner, when my grandmother asked me how yoga was different from other forms of exercise. I paused, then stumbled, then said, “Well Nanee, yoga aims to eliminate the illusion of separation between the ego and the divine one-ness of all things, to dissolve that which you call yourself in order to realize the non-dual nature of reality and eventually reach a state of Samadhi, or enlightened bliss.” “That sounds marvelous,” she said. Then we went through a few sun salutations and I got her to hold a perfect scorpion pose for about 5 breaths. Not bad for a woman in her mid-80s.

I’m growing and learning so much through this training. It occurs to me that I’m actually going through changes so profoundly and rapidly that I’m not even grasping the magnitude of it all just yet. And it feels great, thanks for asking. But the problem remains of how to “sell it”. Indeed, a wealth of knowledge and enlightened thinking do me no good without the proper techniques to bring it all back down to earth so that laypeople can benefit from it.

Maybe it won’t be a matter of only articulating thoughts and ideas but will also involve putting people into a yogic state of mind through my presence and aura. I’ve heard of people meeting the Dalai Lama who say that just being in his presence is a profound experience. I don’t mean to compare myself to the big DL, but positive energy is a palpable thing. I feel it every time I walk into Yoga Now. I’ve been told that I have good energy, and I want more than anything to share it and keep sharing it.

Just one month into the program and I’m already doing a 180 on my initial apprehension. It’s not just the classroom training, which has been interesting, but everything else that comes with the program. Truly Yoga Now is the best place for me, since in addition to being a yoga studio it is also a spiritual center. Last Saturday I experienced my first Kirtan performance, which is a call-and-response chanting form of music, performed by Krishna Das. It was so beautiful and I think I’m forever spoiled for Kirtan since he is world-renowned for it.

The yoga practice requirement, which has switched from an obligation to a pleasure, is keeping me on pace with 2 classes each week. I might start taking 3 classes per week, since I’m trying to experience as many different teachers as I can. And I can’t forget the wonderful, interesting people I’m meeting, especially Amy. She may have a spot on her bus to Burning Man for me! Her and I spoke for about 15 minutes after class last night about 2012, and I had to cut it off because I got the impression we could have talked forever about it.

Paradox Redux

“One day these childish dreams must end, to become a man and grow up to dream again”

--Bruce Springsteen, Two Hearts

“If nothing is everything then I will have it all”

--Pearl Jam, Gone

I've been thinking a lot lately about the paradoxes in life. These song lyrics above, along with the one I mentioned below from Tom Petty, are all examples of these. Springsteen and Petty are getting at something that I'm finding to be more and more true. As I grow older and learn more about life, the world, and myself, I find that I am more youthful, playful, and carefree than when I was a kid.

The wise sage Eddie Veddar expresses an age-old conundrum. In a book I'm reading now called The Four Hour Work Week the author talks about addition through elimination. This coincides with something I'm going through in my own life, admittedly out of necessity, because I want to vanquish my credit card debt back to the fiery pits of hell once and for all. But as I watch every single penny I'm finding that I'm not spending money on worthless crap, and I'm also not thinking about what I'm going to spend my next free dollar on, but instead I am “abiding in my own nature”, which is the message of the 3^rd Yoga Sutra. I am eliminating the unneeded clutter from my life and my mind so that I can be who I truly am.

In my yoga training I am learning and growing so much. We had a workshop a few weeks ago where the teacher explained how everyone in the class is a student, but if we are teaching yoga in a health club we'll be lucky if 10% of the class are students. The majority of them will be customers. She made sure to point out that “customer” isn't meant as a derogatory term, only a necessary term to make the distinction. Her statement really stuck with me and it's occurring to me that what I'm really learning is not how to become a teacher, but how to become a student. And I'm finding that it's necessary to take that first step toward becoming a student, and humbling yourself to the wisdom and the tradition, before you can even consider becoming a teacher.

Thinking about paradoxes makes me calm and puts me in an enlightened state, which is a paradox in itself. I think a lot of people could drive themselves crazy thinking about these things. But for me it's fun seeing how one thing could be true in a sense, and then seeing how the opposite of that thing could also be true at the same time. It gives me a glimpse at the true nature of reality, the yin and yang that is ever present in the universe.